Well, it's currently 5:15 in the morning and I'm wide awake doing absolutely nothing so I figured I would write here since I haven't in a while. Today's topic is friends. I recently lost one of my best ones. I don't mean that like he died or moved or anything like that, I mean he found things that were more important and forgot about me which I think in some ways is worse. The relationship we had was kind of complicated to explain, but it was amazing. We talked all the time and told each other everything and hung out whenever we got the time which usually ended up being once a week. We would sit for hours and just listen to music and talk and everything and nothing. I felt like I could completely be myself around him. I told him things I could never imagine telling anyone else and he listened. I mean really listened. And he never once judged me for any of it. We had our ups and downs, but it never tore up apart...until recently. I can't even pin point what happened, really. It wasn't one particular thing. He got busy with his 2 jobs and his new girlfriend and I got busy with everything I have going on so we talked less and less, but I always tried to make time for him. He was never able to make time for me. I honestly don't know if he did that on purpose or if he was really as busy as he said, but either way he always promised we'd chill "tomorrow" and tomorrow just never came. I finally had enough and wrote him a letter explaining how I felt and telling him that I was moving away soon because I thought my best friend might want to know something like that. I left it on his windshield so I knew he would see it, but I never got a response. Not even a text. Nothing. I couldn't believe it. It felt like I was completely abandoned which is one of my biggest fears and he knows it. And for it to come from someone I was so close to and invested so much in hurt even more. He probably doesn't even think anything is wrong, meanwhile I'm hurting everyday. I've come to the realization that maybe we just weren't meant to be in each other's lives. I don't want to believe that, but I fear it might be true. I've gotten used to not talking to him, but there are still times when something will happen and I'll want to tell him about it or I'll hear a song that I know he'd love and I get the urge to text him, but I refrain. It'd be pointless. It gets easier as the days pass. Sometimes I don't think about him at all. Other days I want nothing more than to see him. More than anything, I just miss the music. I still love and miss him, but that doesn't matter anymore. I've been forgotten. He said himself that girlfriends come before friends, but I never imagined it would be like this.So, here's what I want from you. Ever lost a friend? NOT a boyfriend or girlfriend, a best friend. Tell me about it. How did you get through it? I want to know.
-BlairieLouHoo
